My Morning Poop

The title of this blog post seems like it would be a funny title for a blog or website…now I have to go check to see if it is taken…It’s available if you are interested!  To get back to this post.  It is going to be too much information but I thought that it was kind of funny and it has some good information that I wanted to pass along.

This morning I was going poop.  I had my phone with me because I usually check Facebook or email while I am pooping.  While I am doing my business my mom calls.  We’ve both talked while being on the shitter so no biggie.  I start talking to her and she is telling my that one of the teachers that was at the school I went to and a family friend of my dad’s family passed away today from cancer.  We’re talking and my oldest son comes in and says, “Mom, what are you doing?”  It seemed pretty obvious what I was doing, but I answered, “I’m pooping and can you please leave?”  Since he is a kid he didn’t leave.  I asked him again to please leave.  My mom then says, “What did you say you are doing?”  “I’m pooping mom.”  “Okay, well I’ll let you go.”  I say thanks and hang up.  I wipe and bring the toilet paper towards the front of me and I see brownish reddish color that looks like blood.  I immediately go into panic mode and start wondering what the heck is going on.  Right about this time my son finally leaves, which is surprising because sometimes he wants to see my poop.

If you have read my anxiety post you will know that I freak out about stuff easily.  The first thing I think about is cancer.  Both of my paternal grandparents died from colon cancer and my dad died from an unknown cancer, but it could have started in the colon and we just never found out.  My mind immediately goes to me thinking that I could have cancer.  I finish wiping and turn around to look into the bowl and there is my poop in a pool of red!!!  Now I’m really starting to wonder what is going on.  I’m trying to think if I have a hemorrhoid and it is bleeding from that, but it doesn’t seem likely.  I get a bunch of toilet paper and put it in the toilet and roll around my poop so that I can see if I can tell where the red is coming from; is it coming from my poop or is it on the outside of my poop?  It starts rolling and I see that the red around it is starting to get this purplish hue to it.  Then it dawns on me!  I wonder if it could be from the beets that I ate yesterday?

I flush, wash my hands, and run out to my computer.  I Google “do beets color your poop red.”  I go to this site and it says:

Before you search for a recipe with red beets, be aware that they can leave behind a shocking surprise in your toilet bowl — a vibrant red color to your stool strongly resembling blood.

Phew, it was only the beets!  I have never been a big fan of the taste of beets, but I recently had a sample at Costco and it was good.  I figured that I could spiralize some for a meal and that is what I did for lunch.  The meal was tasty and it turned all of it this pretty maroon color.  Anyway, I felt relieved!  I told my husband and we were both laughing.  Of course, since I have to convince myself 100% that it was the beets I had to look at some more articles.  This website had the following Elimination Test you could do to check on your colon health.

THE ELIMINATION TEST

Besides checking for the physical signs of a healthy colon every time you eliminate, you can monitor your elimination time (how long it takes food to be digested and excreted) to evaluate your colon health.

The easiest way to test your elimination time is to prepare beets. Their red pigment is so strong that it colors your stools, and you will know how long your body took to process them.

  1. Prepare fresh beets (we prefer fermenting them, since unfermented beets are too sweet and can feed candida) to eat. Make sure you eat the whole vegetable and not just the juice because it travels through your system very quickly.
  2. When you eat the beets, make note of the time and day.
  3. Look at your stools until you notice the red pigment from the beets. Ideally this will be 18 to 24 hours after you first ate them.

Anyway, it was information that I didn’t know about.  I kind of also don’t want to eat beets anymore because I don’t like to be freaked out that I’m bleeding from my butt!  I know myself and I know that if I eat beets again I will forget that I ate them the next day when I am pooping and I will proceed to start panicking.

One Word

I have been reading on so many blogs lately about how everyone is doing the “one word” challenge for the new year.  I saw that Ali Edwards is doing a One Little Word workshop.  It sounded interesting, but it seems like something that I could save money by not doing.

The thought behind the one word is that you are supposed to pick one word that will be your defining word for the year.  You are supposed to visualize and live that word.  After reading some blogs about the one word I sat down and the first word that came to mind was change.  I thought that the word was really appropriate because I think that is what my family is going to be going through a lot of this year.

Here are the changes planned for 2014:

-My husband will be changing jobs

-We might be changing homes and cities

-My dad passed away at the end of last year, so this year is going to be a big change not having him around.

I wonder what other changes will manifest in my life this coming year?  Happy New Year!

What Have I Gotten Myself Into?

My oldest son officially starts school this coming Tuesday and I don’t feel prepared.  My husband and I made the decision last year that we would homeschool our son.  We LOVE the local Waldorf school, but when it came down to it we just couldn’t justify spending that money on tuition.  The tuition was way out of our budget too.  We don’t love the public school system where we live and the private schools are just as expensive.  We are also in love with the Waldorf philosophy.

I knew that we would be homeschooling and I decided that I would homeschool the “Waldorf” way.  I joined some Yahoo groups all about Waldorf homeschooling, I bought a “curriculum”, although in kindergarten there is really no academic teaching, I bought many books, art supplies, and I have spent countless hours on the internet and reading books trying to figure things out.  I felt like I had so much time in the world, but that time is almost up.  I know myself and I am a HUGE procrastinator and this situation is just like I was back in college cramming to get a paper done or studying for a final.  I can feel the panic (don’t worry, it isn’t going to cause me to have a panic attack!) starting to set in and me questioning my abilities and how I am going to pull this off.  

I have never taught before and since I will be teaching my son I question if he will respect me and listen to me.  I don’t think that I am one of those pushover parents, but I know that he acts worse around my husband and I compared to when he was at his preschool or when he is with other adults.  I am just hoping that all things go well.  I’ve also been feeling very conflicted on whether or not I want to continue in the Waldorf tradition.

Doing all of my research I have found that Waldorf is really religious.  I never got that vibe when I was a part of that community in the Parent & Child classes.  I also never heard others mention religion at all.  Most of the people that have Waldorf blogs are very religious and reading some of Steiner’s work I see it in there too.  My family is not religious at all and it feels wrong to be teaching something that does have a strong religious background.  For instance, they celebrate Michaelmas in September and it is a pretty big deal.  I had no idea what Michaelmas was.  I planned it into my schedule for September, but I was trying to figure out a way to take the religion out of it.

I also find that some of the Waldorf ideas are just not for me.  They believe in singing and saying verses all of the time.  If you know me, you know that I am not a singer!  I wish that I had a good voice and loved to sing, but it is not me.  I think that is one of the things that I am having issues with.  I also have no rhythm with the boys.  Waldorf is all about rhythm.  I know that kids love it, but it just wasn’t me.  I’m hoping that with the school year it will force me to get in a rhythm.  Perhaps, it will make my oldest son a little easier to deal with when he gets upset and angry?

I think that my homeschooling will be Waldorf inspired and I will use many of their ideas, but I just don’t think that I can go full on out with it.  I love the idea of exploring what my son is interested in.  I think that we’ll end up doing a Waldorf/unschooling approach.  Anyway, this post feels like it is rambling, but I just wanted to get it out there.  

Now, I have to stop procrastinating and get working on my lesson plans!  I really don’t know how teachers do it and I respect them very much!

 

The Bigger Picture

Since the devastating Newtown, CT shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary school I have seen so many posts from my Facebook friends either about gun control or the right to bear arms.  Each side is really passionate about this issue and I am kind of on both sides of it.  I grew-up in a house that had guns and my dad hunted and never were our guns used to harm people.  I never felt unsafe in my house and my dad hid the guns well enough that I never knew where they were, but I knew that there were some in the house (I’m sure that my younger brother knew where they were).  I am also a carnivore and love to eat meat.  I truly believe that someone hunting and killing their own meat by use of a gun is more humane than how most of us get our meat in the store.  On the other side, I had two friends that committed suicide by using a gun.  I also see in the media about these mass shootings and it makes me want tougher gun control laws.  I do not own a gun nor have any desire to own one or have one in my house.  Trying to figure out where my thoughts stood on the issue I felt like I needed to do more research.  What I have been learning has completely steered me in a new direction.  

Looking into gun statistics I came across this: 

Two years ago (2010), 30,470 people died from homicides or suicides using firearms, according to data compiled by the CDC. Guns were the most common means of homicides and suicides, the latter of which accounted for nearly two-thirds of the deaths. Suicide by firearm was the leading cause of violence-related injury deaths in 2010, followed by homicides with firearms, the CDC reported. Together, they made up 57 percent of violent deaths.

Gun-related fatalities are on pace to surpass deaths from automobile collisions by 2015, Bloomberg News reported Wednesday. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/19/guns-deaths-sandy-hook-shooting_n_2325706.html

What I found interesting about this statistic, which I had also read elsewhere, was that two thirds of the deaths were suicides.  That means that about 10,500 were homicides.  When reading or watching the media one would think that this number is much higher.  Don’t get me wrong, that is a high number and if guns weren’t so accessible in this country it would probably be lower.  But the other side of me thinks that if someone wants to commit suicide they are going to find a way to do so even if there are no guns.  The other interesting part that this article touched on and that is also in The Independent, is that gun fatalities should be expected to exceed car fatalities by 2015, which is just a couple of years away.  This news is a little shocking because you always hear, “you are more likely to die in a car accident than…”

While looking into death statistics I discovered that the number one killer in America is from heart related issues.  Over half a million Americans die from heart related issues each year!  Doesn’t that number scare you?  It scared me and it is so much higher than gun related deaths.  Heart disease is more likely to kill you if you are older, but it is still mostly in the top five causes of death in younger people.  The World Health Organization states: 

Most cardiovascular diseases can be prevented by addressing risk factors such as tobacco use, unhealthy diet and obesity, physical inactivity, raised blood pressure, diabetes and raised lipids.

When I read this I understood it to say that the leading cause of death is caused from an unhealthy lifestyle.  This includes the lack of eating real food and not exercising.  If heart disease is the leading cause of death in the US why are not more people passionate about this?  I know that obesity in America is being addressed and there are many media programs out there that highlight the problems, but I don’t think that enough is being done.  Just like the NRA, I think that the fast food corporations and drug companies have enough money to be able to keep this issue not as prevalent.  When a mass shooting happens many people are killed at one instant and that makes it shocking and media worthy.  When people die from heart disease it isn’t newsworthy because it most likely took a long time to get to that point, there is not a “direct” perpetrator (like a shooter) that can immediately be blamed, and most people will say that they (the victims) did it to themselves.  

I know that to do my part for myself and my kids we try to eat healthy and exercise.  I know that I could do better, but I know that I am doing so much better than a lot of people in this country.    I can also help spread the word about this and hope that this issue gets more attention.  If you also looked at the death statistics, cancer is the second leading cause of death and I also think that there is a correlation with having cancer and living an unhealthy life.  

In conclusion, do I think that people should be able to own guns?  I do think that they should, but I think that there definitely needs to be better gun control laws.  Since I am not real familiar with the laws now and what they should be I can’t offer any advice.  I also do not think that certain guns should even be legal.  Who needs a semi-automatic rifle?  Do I think that there are bigger issues that need to be addressed in comparison to gun control laws, absolutely!  I also think that more and more people will be made more aware of the importance of a healthy lifestyle.  Like I mentioned to a friend, imagine if the government spent all of the time and money going after Mansanto like they did Lance Armstrong.  Imagine the changes that could happen, but instead they have to prosecute an athlete (who, most likely did cheat).  Monsanto is genetically modifying our food and that is not as important as an athlete who dopes.  

Okay, that is my little rant.  Crystal, I hope that you enjoyed it since you are my one reader 🙂

 

Link

Goals for 2013

**I have updated this on 1/1/14 to reflect back on my 2013 goals**

I decided that instead of having resolutions I am going to have goals.  If those goals change or are not met I won’t stress about them because life happens and one cannot always accomplish what they had in mind at the beginning of year.  If you want to see how I did with my resolutions last year check out a previous post (I was trying to link it, but I can’t figure out how to do that in WordPress).

Goal #1:  Take on less responsibilities

–Completed!

For the 2011-2012 I was the President of my local MOMS Club group.  Then I decided to take on the job of President for another year (July 2012-June 2013).  It was fun at first, but now it is just too much work for me, along with everything else that is going on and I am not enjoying it as much.  I’ve decided that when this year is over I am also done with being President.  I also want to be done with being on the board, but we’ll see how that goes.  I would love it, if someone stepped up to be President, but I think it is going to be like pulling teeth.

–I was not President for the third term!!!

Along with being President of my club I also volunteer with the “mother” organization MOMS Club International.  I oversee five chapters and am there to answer any questions or concerns that they have.  I did this all last year.  It hasn’t been bad, but it is something else that takes away my time and isn’t super fulfilling.  I guess I’ll have to see how things pan out once I am no longer President.

–I ended up quitting this too!

I was volunteering at a local no-kill animal shelter and they recently made some staff changes that I was not too happy about.  They let go one of the groomers and it was her that first introduced us to Lucy almost seven years ago.  Lucy has been going to her every month for the past five years to get groomed.  It was so nice having her around and I just don’t understand why they would get rid of her.  They said it was due to money and they needed to cut down, but I figured that we were almost paying for a dog a year with what we spent on the grooming.  I also know that there were so many clients.  It just seems like this new management isn’t great, which makes me want to not volunteer there as much.  I guess with this one I will also see what happens.  We will also have to start grooming our own dogs, which I guess will be saving us some money.

–I stopped volunteering here and we quit sending our dogs to the groomers.

Goal #2:  Eat right, lose weight, and exercise

–Not really completed.

  1. Eating Right-I am hopeful that I can get back on track and get started on eating right.  I know that my body is definitely craving good food because of all of the crap I have eaten the last couple of months.  I also want to get back into juicing.  I was doing it fairly regularly and then I stopped.  I will also go back to tracking my calories on My Fitness Pal, which is now linked up with my Body Media Fit Armband, which is much more convenient for me.  –I did for a bit, but fell off the wagon towards the end of the year.  I think that always happens :(.
  2. Lose Weight-I would like to lose the 9lbs that I gained this past year and get back to the weight that feels right on me.  It’s also the weight where my pants fit correctly!  To lose the weight I will be eating right and exercising!  Hopefully, I will be able to keep the weight off and not let it slowly rise up again like every year!  –I lost most of it, but gained it back, ugh!!!
  3. Exercise-
  • Weight Lifting-I will be doing this this year!  We cleaned out the garage so that we could have more space and so that it wasn’t so cluttered in there.  My excuse not to start was that I needed to read the book to do it right.  I think that I will just jump into doing this and I’ll have Christopher there to check to make sure I am doing to correctly.  –I never started this, but in 2014 I will!
  • Running-I will get back into this.  I would like to be able to run 2-3 times per week.  That would be awesome!  I’ll also do one 1/2 marathon this year.  It won’t be the Napa one because that one was too rough on my knees.  –I actually started running and was running 4x a week, but then life had other plans and I haven’t run in awhile.
  • Exercise Workouts-I haven’t decided if I will attempt to do P90X this year.  I think that I will do some Jillian Michaels DVDs (hers are always fun and easy to do).  I then will probably just use my Nike Training Club app to do an exercise workout.  –I didn’t really do these either
  • Walk the dogs more-I have been slacking on this and I plan to do it more and for longer!  –I think that I was slacking on this still :(.

Goal #3: More “me” time

–I don’t know how I did on this.  I think that I got some me time.  I definitely read a lot this year and I think that would show that I got some!

I feel like I need more alone time.  During this time I need to do something that I love or makes me feel good with no interruptions from the boys.  I know that Christopher will make this one an easy one for me.  I would also like to take a trip with some girl friends for the weekend.

Goal #4:  Learn either the piano or guitar

–This didn’t happen

I really want to learn and this year I will!  Even it means taking a class 🙂

Goal #5:  Read 24 books

–I did this!!!  I actually read 36!

Goal #6:  House Projects

  1. Paint-I really want to get this done and I think that I will have to be the one to do it!  I think that the house would feel more warm with paint and I want to get that going.  –Didn’t happen
  2. Decorate-To make the house feel more warm I think that it needs to be decorated a bit and pictures of our family need to be up.  –Didn’t happen
  3. Backyard-This will definitely be done this year.  Now we just have to figure out a way to not spend as much money as the quote is!  –This did happen!
  4. Go through the rooms and de-clutter!-We did pretty well with this last year, but there are still rooms to go.  –This did happen, but I need to go through another round!
  5. Get rid of our popcorn ceiling-I think that we can do this.  First, I have to get it tested to see if it has asbestos.  –The ceiling was tested and was negative for asbestos!  We got one room done, but I don’t know if we will get to the others.

Goal #7: Garden

–I did have a garden and we got squash, tomatoes, pumpkins, lettuce, kale, watermelon, and cantaloupe.  It still wasn’t as big or had as much bounty as I was hoping. 

I really want to do a good garden this year.  I know that I state that every year, but this year I have a little greenhouse to get me started and I will just have to plan out everything around our vacations to make sure that something happens.  I would like to start from seed.  I also think that Anderson is old enough now to know that he can’t pick whatever he wants from the plants.

Goal #8: Be healthy!

–At the beginning of the year we all had the flu.  Then we did get the stomach flu  only about once.  We got colds and the boys got pink eye!  I got my vision checked and I have 20/20!  I still need to go get a physical!

Last year I got the stomach flu about three times, one which lead to the panic attack (see earlier post).  I was also sick again over Christmas and New Years.  I just want to be more healthy this year.  I know that this is mostly out of my control, but I really wish for it to come true!  Speaking of healthy, I want to go to the doctor to get a physical to make sure that everything is going well.  I also need to go get my vision checked out.

Goal #9:  Date nights with Christopher

–We had some, but not regular and I think that there were probably some months where we didn’t go out.  In December we went on an overnight date and it was the first time since we have had kids! 

We need to make sure that every month we have a date night.  By date night I mean a dinner and a movie or dinner and something else.  I don’t feel like we get enough alone time.  Along with this goal is the hope that I find a couple more babysitters to watch the boys so that we can go out when we want.  It is  just hard trying to find someone that you would trust to leave your kids with.

Goal #10: Upkeep our pictures more regularly!

–I did this at the beginning of the year, but then slacked on it!  Now I have to play catch-up!

I have been on this long process of getting all of our photos uploaded to my computer on Picasa and then transferring them over to Christopher’s online Picasa.  It is a lot of work when we haven’t done it for the whole year!  I also have to have all of the pictures organized and labeled.  This takes a long time!  I figured that after I am done with doing the pictures from last year (& many that my mom had starting from when Nathan was born) I will have done close to 3,000 pictures!  If I could do our pictures monthly it would be so helpful.  I could also do the photo books that I want!

Goal #11: Blogging

–I did ok at the beginning of the year and then not so much towards the other half.

I really want to do my family blog more.  I think that is the one that is the most important to me.  The Gorilla Monkey Tree was fun, but I just didn’t have any time for it last year.  This blog is also good and I actually did a decent job of sticking to my goals with this one.  Now that Blogger has made it easier to upload videos I don’t think that I will have a problem keeping up.  I especially like the phone app, which makes blogging wherever super easy!

Goal #12 Baby Books

–I completed this!!!

I am going to get both of the boys’ baby books completed this year!

Goal #13: Build Stuff

–I didn’t do this 😦

I would really like to build some furniture for the house and build stuff out of wood.  I LOVE Ana-White’s site and she has so many projects that I would love to do.

Goal #14: Learn to Meditate

–I actually started this and then life happened again.  I will do this in 2014

I think it would be nice to learn how to do this and get some peace for a little bit each day.  I also think that it will help with my anxiety :).

Goal #15: Travel More

–We did travel more this year, but it wasn’t all for fun.

I would love to take some smaller trips to places with the boys.  I love traveling and would like to do more of it!

Ok, I am sure that I could think of more stuff to write, but I am hungry and I need to get this day started!  Happy New Year!!!

-Heather

Panic Attack

Never in a million years did I think I would have a panic attack.  I guess that I should have figured that the possibility of me having one would have been high since I get anxious really easy (I have ever since I was a little kid) and I let my mind get away from me frequently.  I’ve heard about panic attacks, but I didn’t really know what they were all about until I started Googling them after I had one.

Every year my family seems to get the stomach flu.  I don’t remember getting the stomach flu prior to having kids (although I am sure that I did at some point).  Usually we get sick in the fall or winter, so it was a big shocker when we got sick in middle of summer.  My oldest son got sick on Monday and was throwing up throughout the night.  Then by Monday afternoon he was all better.  Tuesday we were all fine.  Wednesday I woke up and started laundry and my morning was going okay.  Then around 8:30 my stomach started hurting and I was hoping that I was not going to get sick.  I kept telling myself that I wasn’t going to get sick and it was probably just upset from something that was not the stomach flu.  By 9:15 it is really not feeling good and I have diarrhea (too much information, I know).  I know for sure that it is my turn for the stomach flu.  Throughout the day I am in and out of the bathroom puking, dry heaving, and going #2, which is the consistency of #1 (again TMI!).  In-between bathroom runs I am on the couch or bed trying to sleep or just trying to rest.  My stomach is running on empty because I can’t get anything down, nor do I want to eat anything.  I notice throughout the day that my arms and legs feel a little tingly or numb.  Kind of like they are asleep.  I don’t really think too much about it, but as the day goes on they get a little worse.  Around 5:20 I’m noticing that my legs and arms are more tingly than they have been.  This starts to worry me because I’m not sure what is going on and that is when my brain starts to go into overdrive!

My first thoughts when I feel this sensation is that I am sure that I have something more than the stomach flu because I didn’t feel this way when I previously had the stomach flu.  Then I think back to this video that my sister-in-law just sent me that is about women having “Little Heart Attacks” and not knowing it (I will not be putting a link of the video in here because I don’t wish to cause anymore panic attacks!).  The video was well done and funny and of course the couple of things that I remember about the video are numb limbs and clamminess/sweating, which was how my body was reacting.  Now my body starts to go into panic mode because I am thinking that I am having a “little heart attack” or maybe I am having some delayed food poisoning issue (we had sushi the night before) that is serious.  I go and sit down on our big poof chair and I tell Christopher that something is wrong because my limbs feel numb and tingly.  He tells me that there is nothing wrong with me and I just have to calm down and take some slow breaths.  He tells me that I am breathing too fast and am hyperventilating.  He tries to find a brown paper bag that I can breath into, but he isn’t able to find one.  He does find a bigger paper bag and makes it so that I can use it to breath into and out of, but the bag is too big and doesn’t work.  By this time my body is in full on panic mode!

My limbs, starting with my hands and arms, have completely gone numb.  I can no longer feel them.  My fingers and hands start to curl inside of themselves.  It is like my hands are in a fist, but at the wrist they are curled into my body.  My body has involuntarily done this and I can’t get my hands to move.  I am also sweating a lot.  Christopher has me lay on the couch.  As I do this my arms were down around my stomach and are slowly moving up my body (again no control on my part).  As this is happening my legs are going numb and I cannot control them.  My feet have pointed and each joint in each of my toes is bent (like they are curling up too).  I start to feel the numbness in my chest and when I start to feel this I really freak out.  Christopher has repeatedly told me that I am just panicking and I need to calm down, but my mind is too far gone to heed any advice from him.  I ask him to call 9-1-1 because I need them here.  It felt like I was going to die because I couldn’t feel my limbs, they were all tensed up and I had no control over them.  Then my chest and face was starting to go numb and this freaked me out.

The paramedics and fire department got here really fast.  While Christopher was on the phone with 911 I was screaming in my head, “JUST GET THEM HERE FAST!”  They got to the house and of course the boys are thrilled that the firemen are at their house!  They check my heart rate, which is really fast and they check my blood pressure, which is normal.  They ask Christopher and me some questions about what brought this on.  They kept trying to figure out what was stressing me out to cause this.  They thought that something big had to be going on in my life.  Christopher said that one of the paramedics kept asking him if we got into a fight recently.  We told them what was going on, but they must not have believed how powerful my mind can play with me!  Anyway, they confirm that I am having a panic attack.  They say that I need to start taking some deep breaths and take them through my nose.  They are right there and when my breathing isn’t going right they correct me.  At one point a paramedic asks me to sit-up on the couch and I couldn’t even do that because I couldn’t move.  I had to get help.  What I was told was that because I was taking in too much oxygen all of my muscles completely cramped up and that was why I couldn’t move anything and they were “curling” up into themselves.  As my breathing got better the paramedics suggested that I not go to the hospital, but stay at home and just breath correctly.  I agreed with them.  Before they left they had me practice trying to open and close my hands.  At first I could just move one finger about 1/2 an inch open and shut.  I kept practicing and it got better, but I would say that it took a good two hours before I could open and close my hands like normal.  I also had to walk around and I had to get help doing that for the first try because my legs were so cramped up.  The paramedics also wanted Christopher to go get me some gatorade because I needed the electrolytes to help my muscles and I needed something in my stomach.

Once I got some gatorade and continued to stretch out my muscles I definitely improved!  I did feel completely sore all over and the feeling was like having just done the hardest workout of my life and my body been completely sore from it.  Once I got use back in my hands I Googled “panic attack” and this tidbit showed up in Wikipedia

The effects of a panic attack vary. Some, notably first-time sufferers, may call for emergency services. Many who experience a panic attack, mostly for the first time, fear they are having a heart attack or a nervous breakdown.[2] Experiencing a panic attack has been said to be one of the most intensely frightening, upsetting and uncomfortable experiences of a person’s life and may take days to initially recover from.

Panic attacks are no joke and I can vouch for that!  I just hope that I don’t have any more now that my body knows what to do!  I do have the knowledge this time around of how I am supposed to breath, which is  a plus.  I do have to say that my symptoms are very commonly associated with women having heart attacks, so it wasn’t a huge stretch for my mind to immediately go there.  Just recently I remember reading about Rosie O’Donnell having a heart attack that she didn’t know about and she said all of the symptoms that I had (numbness, nausea, and clamminess/sweating).  I’ll just keep my fingers crossed that it doesn’t happen again because it was the worst pain that I have ever felt in my life.

Update On My Resolutions

*Updated 1/1/13 for a second time (all in bold italics)

It doesn’t look like I am doing too well on my resolutions and it is already the middle of August and I am once again wondering where the time went.  I feel like I have been doing a lot and more than what I had planned at the beginning of the year.  Below is a recap of where everything stands for my resolutions :).

1. Eating Better

Well, at the beginning of the year I was doing really well.  I was tracking what I ate  and doing a good job with keeping up in My Fitness Pal, but then events started happening.  It was our anniversary, then it was my oldest’s birthday, then it was birthday parties, then we were out of town.  The excuses just kept coming and coming.  Since the weight wasn’t coming on very fast I wasn’t too worried about it.  I got a serious sweet tooth addiction and that is the toughest one.  Now that I am back from vacation I decided that I am going to start eating better.  Since April I have gained four pounds and I need to lose those plus a couple of extra.  I will start tracking what I eat again.  I will try and stay around the 1200-1500 calorie range.  I’ve also decided that for the week I will be planning out all of my meals, snacks included, so that when it is time to eat there will be no question as to what I will eat.  Usually, I will find some chips to snack on.  I want to try and eat a lot more veggies and fruit!  I also want to try and eat very little of the processed food.  If I can make it, I will try.  My sister-in-law also was telling my husband and I about how bad wheat is for you and how some additive is added to it to make a person want to eat more of it (thank you fast food industry!), so I want to try and stay away from that and try gluten free foods.

*The end of the year ALWAYS gets to me.  The yummy delicious food that is oh so bad for you!  Then there is my sweet tooth again.  Anyway, I got down to about 110 pounds, which was an ideal weight for me and I managed to gain almost 9 lbs back.  I’m still below my starting weight of 2012, which I guess is a plus.

2. Exercising

  1. Weight Lifting- I haven’t started this yet and right now our garage is a disaster and that is where our weight lifting rig is set-up…. Nope, never happened 😦
  2. P90X-I haven’t started this yet either.  I wanted to get stronger before I started this program, but that really never happened.  I don’t see it happening soon either.  Maybe, in a few months? *This never happened either
  3. Running-THIS DID HAPPEN!  I did start running and really trained for the 1/2 marathon that I did.  I ran about three times a week and was doing really well.  Of course, I haven’t run since I did the 1/2 marathon, but that is because of being in vacation mode, a bum knee, and now it is sweltering outside in the summer heat.  *After the 1/2 I only ran once more and I was so out of shape and suffering from a cold that it felt miserable.  

3.  PR a 1/2 Marathon

I did this one too!  I ran the Napa to Sonoma 1/2 Marathon in 2:23!  My fastest time was previously 2:25, so that was pretty awesome!  I don’t feel like I could have gone much faster then what I did on the course.  I have also decided that I will not do this race in the future.  It really screwed up my knees!  The roads were slanted a lot and there were not a lot of flat spots and that really messed up my knee.  Towards the end I was in a lot of pain and just pushed through it to finish the race.  I couldn’t walk for about two days afterwards.  I need to find a race that has a flat course and then I can probably do an even better PR!  I’m thinking the Santa Barbara 1/2 in November?

4.  Read 24 Books

Right now I am reading book #13 out of the 24.  I am behind on my two books a month, but hopefully I can somehow catch-up.  I took on too much this year and reading has fell to the wayside :(.

*I was on track to not read the 24 books, but I ended up doing this and finishing on 12/31!  Luckily, I got some good easy books at the end and there was vacation which allowed me to read more.

5.  Learn to Play the Piano

Same thing with the piano.  I haven’t had any time to practice.  When Christopher or myself would try and play the boys would want to join in and the practicing became futile.  Then when the boys were asleep we didn’t want to play the piano because we didn’t want to wake them up.  I was thinking about taking some lessons for me, but I don’t know if that is in the cards for this year.

*Never did this 😦  

6.  Go Flying With My Husband

I did this one!  We took a quick trip around the Valley.  It wasn’t that bad.  There was some turbulence, which I didn’t care for and I was holding on tightly to the door handle.  It was very interesting seeing where we live via the air.  I only have been with him once, but we do need to plan another trip and a longer one.

7.  Home Improvements

  1. Paint Walls-haven’t done this yet.  I need to get a couple of quotes.  Two rooms definitely need a professional to do them.  I might be able to do the bathrooms, but I think we need someone to do them.  Ca-ching! *Never did this
  2. Put In Wood Flooring-This has been done!
  3. Add In Trim-Most of this has been done.  Just a few more places need it, but very minimal
  4. Mud Oven-We have put a hold on this because we are getting our backyard redone, so we don’t want to add anything that could be taken down.
  5. Build Outdoor Furniture-We ended up buying a nice couch from Costco.  We didn’t have the time to build it.
  6. Purge Our House-We are doing this slowly, but surely.
  7. Backyard-We had someone come and take a look at our backyard and it is going to be remodeled a little bit.  Since we don’t want to stay in this house in the long-term it was suggested that we make minimal changes that will still make it look nice.  We are still waiting for them to start and I can’t wait!  *This was going to cost more than we expected & we just didn’t get around to actually starting this

8.  Better Job with my Garden-This didn’t happen.  I got so busy again and never got around to planting anything.  A tomato and acorn squash plant flowered from random seeds and that was it.  Then when the Landscaper came by he said that we should get rid of our planter boxes.  I moved a few to the front of the house and we started a little garden.  It actually is working well for us right now.  I just planted the stuff two weeks ago, so we don’t have anything yet.  Next year once everything is done in our backyard and my youngest doesn’t destroy the plants I should have a better garden.  In the meantime we have a friend that has an awesome garden and we get goodies from hers!

9.  Keep Up With My Blogs-FAIL!  I should be on post three for this blog, but it is only post 2.  My family blog I was doing really well at posting weekly and then I had to upload a video and since I didn’t know how to do that at the time everything got really behind.  I have also only done one 30 day challenge and that means I would have to do four more and that would be doing one per month until the end of the year and I just don’t think I could do it.  Maybe one more?

Why have I not succeeded in keeping up with my goals?  Well, life happens and other stuff pops up that takes priority.  I’ve also discovered that I like volunteering!  Well, I like having something to do where I can use my brain and is like work.  I started volunteering for  a moms group and I oversee some chapters.  I am also President of my chapter and that requires a lot of work.  Then I just started volunteering at an animal shelter, which I am really looking forward to being a part of.  Oh, and I adopted a new dog.  That makes our total animal count 11!  11 pets, two kids, lots of housework, and everything else makes the days and months fly by.

*I never did update my blogs how I wanted to 😦

-Heather