What Have I Gotten Myself Into?

My oldest son officially starts school this coming Tuesday and I don’t feel prepared.  My husband and I made the decision last year that we would homeschool our son.  We LOVE the local Waldorf school, but when it came down to it we just couldn’t justify spending that money on tuition.  The tuition was way out of our budget too.  We don’t love the public school system where we live and the private schools are just as expensive.  We are also in love with the Waldorf philosophy.

I knew that we would be homeschooling and I decided that I would homeschool the “Waldorf” way.  I joined some Yahoo groups all about Waldorf homeschooling, I bought a “curriculum”, although in kindergarten there is really no academic teaching, I bought many books, art supplies, and I have spent countless hours on the internet and reading books trying to figure things out.  I felt like I had so much time in the world, but that time is almost up.  I know myself and I am a HUGE procrastinator and this situation is just like I was back in college cramming to get a paper done or studying for a final.  I can feel the panic (don’t worry, it isn’t going to cause me to have a panic attack!) starting to set in and me questioning my abilities and how I am going to pull this off.  

I have never taught before and since I will be teaching my son I question if he will respect me and listen to me.  I don’t think that I am one of those pushover parents, but I know that he acts worse around my husband and I compared to when he was at his preschool or when he is with other adults.  I am just hoping that all things go well.  I’ve also been feeling very conflicted on whether or not I want to continue in the Waldorf tradition.

Doing all of my research I have found that Waldorf is really religious.  I never got that vibe when I was a part of that community in the Parent & Child classes.  I also never heard others mention religion at all.  Most of the people that have Waldorf blogs are very religious and reading some of Steiner’s work I see it in there too.  My family is not religious at all and it feels wrong to be teaching something that does have a strong religious background.  For instance, they celebrate Michaelmas in September and it is a pretty big deal.  I had no idea what Michaelmas was.  I planned it into my schedule for September, but I was trying to figure out a way to take the religion out of it.

I also find that some of the Waldorf ideas are just not for me.  They believe in singing and saying verses all of the time.  If you know me, you know that I am not a singer!  I wish that I had a good voice and loved to sing, but it is not me.  I think that is one of the things that I am having issues with.  I also have no rhythm with the boys.  Waldorf is all about rhythm.  I know that kids love it, but it just wasn’t me.  I’m hoping that with the school year it will force me to get in a rhythm.  Perhaps, it will make my oldest son a little easier to deal with when he gets upset and angry?

I think that my homeschooling will be Waldorf inspired and I will use many of their ideas, but I just don’t think that I can go full on out with it.  I love the idea of exploring what my son is interested in.  I think that we’ll end up doing a Waldorf/unschooling approach.  Anyway, this post feels like it is rambling, but I just wanted to get it out there.  

Now, I have to stop procrastinating and get working on my lesson plans!  I really don’t know how teachers do it and I respect them very much!



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